Owen
How we laughed as his PR people put together a brochure to promote their 29-year-old client and dispel the reports that he was plagued by injury.

With only Stoke City and Hull City seemingly interested in signing the fallen icon the laughter continued. And then... the most successful manager in English football, Sir Alex Ferguson, left us all opened mouthed as he swooped to sign Owen on a free transfer for Premier League champions Manchester United.

As the former Liverpool striker laughs last and longest at all those who had written him off he won't be at all bothered that the club shop has yet to receive a single request for an Owen shirt.

Who the f*** are Sunderland? - Monday, July 6

Girondins Bordeaux president Jean-Louis Triaud reacted to Sunderland's reported interest in £13m-rated forward Marouane Chamakh with a withering put down on Monday.

The Moroccan, who helped fire Bordeaux to the Ligue 1 title last year, has been lined up as a possible replacement for Emmanuel Adebayor at Arsenal and Triaud balked when he heard of the Black Cats interest in the 25-year-old.

"What the f*** would he do at Sunderland?" Triaud blasted. "You have heard him say he will only sign for a big English club. I don't want to insult Sunderland, but I don't even know where they finished last season."

AC Milan have since ended their interest in Adebayor, meaning Arsenal will probably not sign Chamakh, and Triaud might have to do a bit of grovelling in Sunderland's direction if he wants to cash in on his prized asset. Expect the old "I was misquoted" line to be rolled out any time soon.

John Terry

Former Blues boss Luiz Felipe Scolari's departed after Terry missed an open goal the weekend before the axe fell. And Avram Grant got the boot after the 28-year-old slipped and missed a penalty kick in the Champions League final in Moscow. Ancelotti might last longer without him.

NUFC

What makes the move even more exceptional is that Onyewu, who was hugely impressive at the heart of the U.S. defence as the national team reached the Confederations Cup final, beating European Champions Spain along the way, was deemed a failure during a loan stint at Newcastle United - the spiritual home of dire defending.